The Do-It-Yourself TV Crime Drama Template

(The result of watching too much television over the summer)

Background

Lead Character Personality Traits (choose two):

Brooding

Charming

Mysterious

Obsessive/Compulsive

Quirky

Rakish

Socially Inept

Lead Character’s Traumatic Past (choose one):

Parent/sibling/spouse/child murdered by unknown Master Villain

Parent/sibling/spouse/child disappeared, unknown Master Villain supsected

Supporting Cast (all positions obligatory):

Antagonistic Love Interest

Comic Relief

Hot Chick

Minority (select male or female)

Supervisor Who Does Not Like Lead

Supporting Cast Traits (assign at will to above characters):

Emotionally invested/overly empathetic

Married (preferably to another member of supporting cast)

Trivia champion/movie buff

Voice of reason to keep Lead in check

Outsider whose ignorance allows other Supporting Cast to explain science

Episode Template

Exposition (choose one):

The innocent outing (family picnic, birthday party, beach trip, romantic encoutner, etc.)

è Discovery of dead body by child or pet

The red herring (crime in progress, chase scene, etc.)

è Discovery of dead body by character who audience thought would be either victim or murderer

Story Development (all elements obligatory, order flexible):

Investigation at crime scene

Lead makes clever quip and/or intriguing discovery that no one else notices

Exposition of victim ID and backround information by Supporting Cast

Character development/drama involving private life of Lead

Montage sequence in which Supporting Cast processes evidence in lab (realism optional)

Identification and apprehension of Suspect Number 1

Questioning and exhoneration of Suspect Number 1, who leads to Suspect Number 2

Questioning and exhoneration of Suspect Number 2, who leads to Suspect Number 3

Repeat previous three steps as necessary

Return to forensic evidence: second montage sequence in lab

Unrelated situation in private life of Lead, resulting in breakthrough on case

Climax/Resolution (choose one):

Return to previous Suspect who had been mistakenly disregarded

Dramatic standoff leading to lengthy confession by Culprit

Shootout/explosion that kills Culprit

Surprise twist revealing Culprit that Lead did not suspect

Ending (elements can be combined):

Explanation of what brought Lead to suspect Culprit when no one else did

Heartfelt scene resolving episode’s private drama

Moment in which Lead and Antagonistic Love Interest almost but do not quite confess their feelings

Optional Elements (to be distributed over course of season):

Wounding of or imminent danger to Supporting Cast

Kidnapping of Antagonistic Love Interest or family member

Meddling by Supervisor and/or outside agency

Discovery that case is connected to Unresolved Mystery and Master Villain

Series Story Arc

Season One:

Crime:

Rely on episodic narrative while hinting at Unresolved Mystery

Drama:

Establish characters

Work up chemistry between Lead and Antagonistic Love Interest

Season Two:

Crime:

Continue to rely on episodic narrative

Show more gore to retain audience interest

Drama:

Intensify relationship with Antagonistic Love Interest

Kill off at least one character in a tragic fashion

Season Three:

Crime:

Find stranger and stranger ways for people to be killed

Begin to lose interest in episodic narrative

Refocus on Unresolved Mystery of Lead’s traumatic past

Include at least one comic/halucinated alternate reality episode

Drama:

Manufacture break in relationship with Love Interest

Season Four:

Crime:

Episodic crime becomes a minor plot point

Master Villain becomes central focus

Massive conspiracies surface

Drama:

Lead and/or Antagonistic Love Interest is seriously wounded and/or has a mental breakdown

Lead and Antagonistic Love Interest decide to be “just friends”

Season Five and following:

Crime:

Episodes grow more and more bizarre

Lead comes within an inch of solving Unresolved Mystery and catching Master Villain

Drama:

Supporting cast replaced as actors quit

Lead and Antagonistic Love Interest become passionately involved, break up, marry, or procreate (choose one or more, accordingly)

Final Season:

Crime:

Abandon all pretext of plausibility (death by air compressor, fingerprints from linguini, etc.)

Let Lead finally catch Master Villain

Drama:

Realize relationship between Lead and Antagonistic Love Interest has killed series

Manufacture satisfying wrap-up for whatever viewers are still hanging on